Human Behavior: A Drama Series Starring Attention-Seeking, Validation Cravings, Jealousy & Butt-Kissing

Let’s talk about a serious mental health issue plaguing humanity, one fake smile at a time: the epidemic of attention-seekers and professional-grade ass-kissers. Yep, those walking LinkedIn endorsements in human form. You know exactly who I’m talking about—and if you don’t, it might be you (no judgment, matey, we’re here for self-awareness and giggles).

Let’s be honest—you ever look around and think, “Wow, humans are just wild bundles of emotions, trying to outdo each other for invisible gold stars”? Because same. Somewhere along the evolutionary road, we traded in survival instincts for desperate approval cravings and a need to be the favorite in every room, even if that room is just the kitchen and you're alone.

Now listen, if you’ve ever caught yourself saying “Did you notice I did that thing?” three times in one sentence, congratulations—you’re human! Seeking attention, validation, and that sweet, sweet external approval is just part of the package deal. It's like the buy-one-get-three-free of emotional quirks. You get attention-seeking, and BAM—here comes jealousy, validation addiction, and a side order of certified ass-kissery.

Picture it like a dysfunctional group of friends at a BBQ party.

• Attention is doing backflips by the grill, screaming “LOOK AT ME!”

  
  

• Validation is behind them, quietly whispering, “Please clap…”

  
  

• Jealousy is sulking in the corner, furious someone else brought better potato salad.

  
  

• And ass-kissing? Oh, they’re already complimenting Cheryl’s apron like it’s haute couture at Paris Fashion Week.

And are they interrelated? Oh, absolutely. One doesn’t walk into your psyche without dragging the others like emotional clingy roommates. If you’re out here seeking constant applause for breathing correctly, don’t be shocked when jealousy sneaks in because Cheryl got complimented for her mediocre cheesecake and you didn’t. It’s a package deal, baby!

The funniest part? Most of us pretend we’re above it. We act all chill while secretly dying a little inside because someone else got praised for “being a team player” when all they did was nod aggressively in a meeting. Meanwhile, you’re in the back like, “What am I? Chopped emotional liver??”

Now, is it a mental health issue? Look—it can be. Or it can just be your inner child throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get enough gold stars in Year 3. We’ve all got a tiny version of ourselves living in our brain, clutching an imaginary microphone, screaming, “Please love me or I’ll dramatically fall on the floor like a 1950s movie star!”

But you know what? Let’s be real—deep down, we all have a little attention gremlin in us. You’ve posted that thirst trap “by accident,” haven’t you? “Oops, didn’t mean to post a gym mirror selfie while casually flexing my left tricep and pretending to look surprised.” Sure, Jan. We’ve all been there.

And honestly? It’s kinda funny. Sometimes people just want to be seen, heard, loved—or at the very least, liked in the group chat. So maybe don’t judge too harshly. Unless they start complimenting the boss’s coughing style—then we stage an intervention.

The good news? You’re not broken. You’re just marinating in the full spice rack of human behavior. A little jealousy? Fine. A sprinkle of validation hunger? Normal. Full-on ass-kissing? Ok, maybe pump the brakes.

So next time you feel the urge to be the center of attention, get weirdly jealous over a coworker’s stapler, or dramatically compliment someone’s shoes like it’s a UN peace offering—just laugh. You’re not alone. We’re all starring in this emotional telenovela together.

So here’s the final takeaway, friends: If you find yourself desperately needing attention, validation, or the urge to praise someone’s bad handwriting like it’s a Renaissance painting… just pause. Breathe. And maybe tell a joke instead. You’ll still get attention—but with dignity.

Now go out there, be mildly unhinged, and maybe—just maybe—validate yourself first. Or at least beat Cheryl to the macaroni salad instead.